Quick and the Undead 2006

Greetings all! Today's stink nugget is called "The Quick and the Undead". it was rated two stars on Netflix and 3/10 stars on IMDB. So we know we have a winner! you can view the trailer HERE.

We start with a lone zombie wondering down the highway. He is gunned down by an unknown assailent. Suprisingly, this film lets us know right off that this outbreak is due to a biological outbreak. 

The survivors become bounty hunters of sorts and our main character  Ryn is supposed to be some bad ass Zombie hunter who is a junkie and visualizes the dead coming after him as he trips. 

In the next scene, he chums with intestines and severed body parts, he opens his trusty guitar case full of armmaments and basically clears out a town of undead. He collects the fingers from the ghoulish bunch. It seems that the fingers are considered currency in this post apocalyptic time. 

Well, our hero gets sold out by his partner to a group of thieves and is gut shot left for dead. His partner takes some of his gear, finds a truck with a survivor. The survivor( for a short time anyways) tells the turncoat that the group went to Union City to collect what could be a substantial reward. Our hero is bitten which leads us to assume that he has been infected all along just supressing the virus somehow.

Surprisingly they catch up to the gang of thieves relatively quickly. One by one he dispatches the assailants. In a nod to George Romero, One of the gangsters hollars, "choke on it!". This is a direct line from Romero's Day of the Dead. 

As the hero and his untrusty sidekick make their way to Union City, Our hero is dragged off by a horde of zombies only to miraculously escape. He realizes that his sidekick (Hanz) has been bitten. So he offs him in an emotional Of Mice and Men style. (If you've ever seen it or read about it you would understand, I'm not going into here.) Obviously our hero has suicidal tendencies and contemplates his fate periodically. The injection that we see at the beginning is obviously some form of suppressant.

Our hero finds the thieves at what appears to be a hospital or insane asylum. As he plays cat and mouse with each of them we are privy to the fact that the madman leading the thieves has decided to infect others and smaller communities that are not infected. (psycho much?) Now the thieves and our hero are trapped inside. One of the hero's cardinal rules was "never go inside". So WTF people why did he do it? Revenge? Stupidity or just poor writing? Who knows and who cares. Now they are trapped. The horde is closing in by the numbers and breaking through doors and windows.

In a twist, it seems our hero and the female thief are in cahoots and set up a scheme to get the evil mastermind behind the plague, Blythe. Her cover gets blown pretty quick and she is taken hostage. Before anything can happen though the Zombies break in spilling in like ant from an inthill that is being pissed on. Jackson dies and becomes dinner for the undead. That only leaves Blythe, Ryn and the female co-conspirator ( still cant get her name). 

We now have a standoff between Ryn and Blythe. Ending with (watch to find out). The chick is bit and we all know what that means. HEHEHE Blythe returns as an undead gun in tote but is shot between the eyes quicker than stink on shit. Ryn is trying to get his girl to fight the disease. Ok the chicks name is Hunter and shes dead. Now with only out hero left, we try to find a way out of the asylum and this movie. He makes his way to the roof and enjoys the basking warmth of the morning sunrise haven survived the night by finding a randomly placed sword and hacking at zombies. 

Checking to see if he has one shell left, he plays a little Russian roulette only to be disturbed by the corpse of his ex. (Dont you hate that?) Now without ammunition he is stuck and we are left with the belief that he will die on the roof of starvation or try to make a run for it. That is up to you dear viewer to decide. 

Gore factor for this is partial CGI and a good deal of makeup and special effects. Although not high calibur special effects, it passes as their are multiple stages of Zombies in various states of decay. A good touch.

The acting was nothing special. The best acting IMO was Hanz. Too bad he kicked off so early. 

The story seemed to be thrown together haphazardly and has gaps that cannot be rectified by the movie. They have to be left to the audience to figure out what is going on. 

I give this movie 2 and 1/2 Severed thumbs. and Remember,

I watch this shit so you don't have to!

Shane

	Clint Glenn	...	Ryn Baskin
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
	Toar Campbell	...	Toar Zombie
	Dion Day	...	Jackson
	Nicola Giacobbe	...	Hans Tubman
	Brian Koehler	...	Zombie
	Vito La Morte	...	Tunnel Zombie
	Erin McCarthy	...	Hunter Leah
	Paul Molnar	...	Old man
	Parrish Randall	...	Blythe Remington
	John Reynolds	...	First Zombie Killed
	Jason Rogel	...	Forest Zombie
	Jarod Scott	...	The Tunnel Undead
	Elysia Skye	...	Reporter
	Kim Solow	...	Little Girl Zombie
	Jeff Swarthout	...	Walters
	Derik Van Derbeken	...	Dr. Ambroseo