Zombie Nation 2004

Rated one star by netflix and 1.6 stars by
IMDB. Holy shit this is worse than the last one! you can view the trailer HERE.

This movie consists of the good cop, pyscho cop angle. Well it seems the entire cops unit is corrupt. This movie is slow moving but has the soundtrack of Mortal Kombat. you would expect something dramatic to happen. The "Princinct" is a warehouse with multiple sets built around the walls. You can hear the echos off the other walls. 

 So psycho cop pulls over or arrests any young lady that so much as jaywaks and takes them to his lair. which is about as secret as say oh the top floor of a furniture store. Geesh. He doesn't rape torture or mutilate. He simply injects them , and watches gospel preaching on TV until they are dead. Then the necropillia aspect begins (SHUDDERS) along with flashbacks of his domineering mother who controls a Psych ward.

The good cops love life is introduced as his pregnant GF/Wife egs him into doing the right thing. Of course they get a beating for the effort.

Jump to some random voodoo ritual that seems disturbingly out of place. This is where the Zombie Magic happens. It seems as if nutso cops last victim was "protected " by these voodoo preistesses.

Ahhhh these are zombies on a mission. And they can even talk. So these are neither the zombies of traditional lore nor are they the mindless ghoulish zombies of today. These are driven women who only desire to get at the man who killed them. Or anyone that gets in the way.  But come on what is it with the raccoon makeup? Well they threw in an interesting wrinkle. The zombies see themselves as normal. So one of the not so brighter ones goes to visit her BF. Of course the walking dead aren't the brightest bulbs in the box. 

OH GOD!!!! what a horrific turn of events and acting! Now these five crispy and dried up "ladies" want to be guardian angels for their family. And I quote,

Zombie one: "My brother Mark and my parents, I'm going to see them. at least,,,from a distance. Maybe become something like a guardian angell to them"

Zombie two, "Yes your absolutely right! Guardian angels, that will be our new mission.

Zombie three:  "How will we survive in his world?"

Zombie four: " I don't know, thers gotta be a way"

Zombie two, "Maybe there are more of us"

Zombie five: "Yeah we cant be the only ones."

Zombie one:" maybe there are thusands of us waiting to connect with us.

Zombie five: " Maybe millions!"

Zombie one: "Zombie nation"

Oh my fucking god!!!!! 

So finally these 5 bimbo zombies corner the psycho cop, with a dance soundtrack in the background. lets boogy!

I have to leave some for the imagination here but lets just say the ending will having you scratching your head pondering not only why you watched the movie but if any of it made any sense whatsoever.

One severed thumb. And I shudder to give it that!

And remember I watch this shit so you don't have to!

Shane

	Günther Ziegler	...	Joe Singer
	Brandon Dean	...	Vitalio
	Axel Montgomery	...	Det. MacQueen
	Phil Lander	...	Scott
	Martina Bottesch	...	Romy
	Szilvi Naray-Davey	...	Holly
	Karen Maxwell	...	Virginia
	Naidra Dawn Thomson	...	Desiree
	Victoria Ullmann	...	Susan

Zombie Campout

What better way to start a flick then having two couples in the woods on a campout. One couple is making out and the other decides to slip off into the woods(Smart decision).

Rated one star by Netflix and 2.8 by IMDB we know this is a stinker from the word go. But in order to effectively give you a run down I must view. You can View the trailer HERE.  I cant look away, it's like a train wreck getting ready to happen. Shot with a shaky camera and poor cinematography. The acting is atrocious in the first five minutes. The only redeeming value to this piece is the two fine babes that make up the female cast. In fact all the females appear to be porn stars or ex porn stars trying to break into real cinema

What kind of knuckleheaded pea brains would place a campground by a cemetery. Oh no! A meteor shower has bombarded the cemetery, the dead has arisen! What to do? Go skinny dipping of course.

Zombies that look like they are lacking sleep more than decaying start to attack the campsite. Seriously, white and grey face paint? The first unfortunate victim is the Barney Fife game warden. In a cool twist to the b zombie flick. These zombies visually chomp on a kid in the park. And a dog on a leash NICE!!

59 minutes in and I would have to rate this is one of those in the "geee I wish I had that hour and a half of my life back"

Of course we have the two rednecks with guns (uzis and rocket launchers all) all while the third is taking a crap in the woods. Is their anyway better to go than while your pinching a loaf?

So the original four campers get stuck in a tackle shop and are saved by low and behold,,, ice! After all Zombies cant keep their balance. How fucking original is that people? This is a movie of a comedy of errors. Constantly loosing keys and reading the script on camera.

Please people, do not see this. I prey that my worst enemy may stumble on this.

You have been warned;

I give this 1 of 5 severed fingers. And Remember,

I watch this shit so you don't have to!

Shane

	Misty Orman	...	Bunny
	Tiffany Black	...	Tammy
	John M. Davis	...	Steve
	Jeremy Schwab	...	Trevor

Greetings! Zombie Town

Greetings one and all Zombie Lovers!. This is my blog on Zombie movies past and present. 

The blog will run in a format that gives actors, synopsis, opinions and hopefully reader feedback. Each Movie may contain Spoilers. If this is the case I will let you know in advance. 

This weeks movie is entitled "Zombie Town" this is rated two stars on Netflix and 4.5 stars on IMDB, and is true C movie quality.It stars Adam Hose as Jake a less than efficent mechanic who has inhereted his father's auto shop. as with every C movie movie their has to be some significant other to be placed in peril to get the lazy ass redneck off his ass to accomplish something. Even if this is a non ordinary run of the mill zombie infestation. This love interest is played by Brynn Lucas. Not a bad looker but not a stunner either. the third main cast member is by far the worst actor of the film. this rasberry goes out to one Dennis Lemoine. You can view the trailer HERE

The film starts out with a bunch of poorly acted rednecks in the woods basically sitting around and talking about bed wetting experiences. It seems as if some unknown parasite has infested one of these high caliber individuals and he goes on a flesh chomping spree that starts the infection through a small town in Kansas. 

It appears that the only smart person in the movie is the redhead Alex. Not only does she take samples of swamp water and "three legged frogs". she obviously has the educational attainment to deal with a mutant slug that through the graces of modern science we learn can be killed by,,,hold on wait for it,,,,,SALT!

This movie is laughable as we see bingo playing grannies go wild with bloodlust. A sheriff that is infested as he sits on the most sacred of places(the shitter), and gore that could be put together by my 10 year old. The oneliners are ubiquitous so be prepared. The comedy is poor and the acting is even worse. we are however treated to one tit shot half way through. and these appear to be the real deal. after all what would a high scale zombie movie like this be without the obligitory sex scene?

Their are no spoilers for this movie as the whole movie is a spoiler.

If their are any movies that you would like or think I should view and do a review on, give me  hollar. I will do my best to please. for those of you who compare everything to Romero style zombies you will be sorely disappointed as this blog is not only about the past and present of Zombie Movies, but it is also about the good and the bad. 

This Movie gets 1 severed thumbs, And remember,
I watch this shit so you don't have to!

So until the next post, Cheers! 

And please do your part to support the zombie, he is a misunderstood creature that needs love sympathy and above all else ,,,,BRAINS!!!

Shane