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Showing posts with label Cheese. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cheese. Show all posts

Monday, May 23, 2011

Dead and Deader 2006

Greetings! todays Treat is called "Dead and Deader". This was awarded 3 3/4 stars on Netflix and 4.9 on IMDB. You can view the trailer(s) HERE.

This gem starts out with a group of commandos getting ready to attack a secret hideout somewhere in Cambodia. Our main character gets stung by what I can only call a super scorpion. interesting how cambodia looks alot like the woods of North Carolina. They find a couple of corpses. some chewed on and some burnt. thats when all hell breaks loose and the team is attacked by undead. A random scientist decides he's not going to become one of "them" so he tosses a grenade into the middle of the room. Basically he blows the place to shit, killing all of the soldiers. (or did he?)

Dean Cain stars in this award winning piece. You know him, played super man in "Lois and Clark: The Adventures of Superman". Anywho, the bodies are evacuated out, and as they start to autopsy the body, he stops him right before he gets to gut him like a trout. he is then told he was sent in, in a body bag

The Dr. discovers that Lt Quinn has no vital signs. Somehoe one of the scorpions embedded itself in Lt quinn's arm, which he proceeds to cut out. the wound heals spontaneously. The Dr. in charge places Lt Quinn in isolation. Obviously Lt Quinn has some ESP along with his new found strength and "senses" that another corpse was wondering around.

The other corpse tries to make a meal outta the cook. instead he gets an armfull outta the female Dr. who quickly turns into one of them. It's a shame . She was hot. She in turns takes a few fingers from the other Dr. The female Dr gets the top of her head removed by a very slow moving fan.  ODD the other corpse (cruz gets his hand placed in a meat tenderizer and pulls out a black bloody stump. An interesting addition to this movie is that all who get infected seem to obtain black blood instantly.

The chef and Lt Quinn exchange some chit chat about being dead. When Lt. Quinn gets a craving for red meat and the two are arrested. Quinn is now in the office of some bigwig who doesnt beleive a word he says. In fact, and I quote, " your story has more holes than a Michael Bay Film". Now what is he trying to say here? Michael Bay sucks? Or that he has a lot of gash in his flicks? >:).

Lt Quinn insists on being moved to the CDC but that isn't an option. He is arrested and awaiting his court martial. the chef and Quinn make a run for it in a jeep. the jeep happens to breakdown. CONVENIENT. Leaving the chef who is still unidentified as of yet and Lt Quinn to hoof it as they try to track the other two corpses.

Oh what a surprise, the other two members of the squad awaken in zombified states as they are being hauled to their towns of origin and make a nice healthy meal of the two soldiers carrying them. Finally our two heros find the corpse carrying vehicle and guess what. The only thing to be found is an empty body bag. Now is tracking three ghouls and wind up in a really high class establishment. Well it seems that they are now on the tv as wanted.

Ironically, the three ghouls have stumbled upon the same dive bar as Lt Quinn. They reak havoc in the bar gathering more undead to the group. The sexy bartender, Lt quinn and the chef clean house.
The cops show up and arrest the two. only to have them escape by way of cop car and hot bartender. They try to find some place to hold up and get some clean clothes. Finally we find out the cooks name, Louis.

Thry track down the remaining corpse waiting to be buried. find out where the wake is and break into the Anderson's home.  Lt Quinn, starts to get a craving and the munchies, finds some steak and try to get to the body. They pick up another member of the group by the name of Helen. She escorts them to the where the body is contained.

Upon entering the funeral home they find the funeral conductor embalming his body while listening to Black Sabbath. In a nod to one of the classic Zombie flicks of all time, Phantasm, we see Louis the chef handling a shiny metal ball.  Once again! They get captured, This time by what appears to be some paramilitary group. It seems they are going to conduct experiments to try and determine what the Cambodians were doing.  It appears that the Dr. is trying to achieve eternal life. (Without the nasty side effects of course). Helen becomes food for the final soldier of the original group.

It appears that their is a new body to examine and they leave Quinn locked up with the chef and bartender. obviously they are trying to force feed him the innocent barmaid as they are chained together while he is having a feeding frenzy moment.

The chef meanwhile leads through an abandoned military base. It appears the base has been overrun by Zombies. But the scientific "team" is still on the hunt for patient zero. Ly Quinn and the barmain make it out and while hunting down Zombies start discuss the pros and cons of Romero's DOTD and Snyder's DOTD.

Chef becomes a happy meal for some random zombies. Crappy tilted camera perspectives and dark scenes with poor visibility although obviously mean to instill a sense of dread in the viewer actually detracts and diminishes from the film.

The science crew finds the Zombie they are looking for and try to slice him up to find the scorpion within. Sounds like the title of a movie. " the scorpion within". Anyways, The good doctor and his crew  are dragged off and munched one. This leaves Lt. Quinn and the barmaid to clean up the remainder of the base. they miraculously find Jensen the chef. As they make a break for the exit they run into the ammo dump. Their genuis plan is to blow the base after rounding up the zombies. Obviously a knee to the batteries still hurts the male Zombies. Realistically though I can appreciate that. I have become quite attached to mine over the years and would probably retain some level of security for the boys once dead.

With time ticking out they all get into the jeep and the entire base goes BOOM containing the virus on that end. But what of Lt. Quinn. AHHHHHHH That is the question that I will leave for the viewer to see. Needless to say  Cheddar!

Although the movie didn't rely on gore they tried to play up the black/greenish blood thing to much and the cheezy effects just didnt scream out C rating. The acting, although not bad wasnt quite the caliber of lets say, Shaun of the Dead. The constant getting capturedm escaping, getting captured again got old fast. If you like broken records hey check this one out. If not, STAY AWAY!

I give this movie 2 and 1/2 severed thumbs, and remember,
I watch this shit so you don't have to!

John Billingsley... Langdon
Dean Cain... Lt. Bobby Quinn
Colleen Camp... Mrs. Wisteria
Greg Collins... Captain Niles
Ellie Cornell... Dr. Adams
Affion Crockett... Private Connery
Esteban Cueto... Sgt. Cruz
Peter Greene... Dr. Scott
Dean Haglund... Funeral Home Director
Brent Huff... Officer Raimi
Jamie Kaler... Private Lazenby
Steven Kriozere... Officer Campbell (as Steve Kriozere)
Natassia Malthe... Dr. Boyce
Mark McGraw... MP
Ho-Sung Pak... Superstar Merc
Steven Schub... Matheson
Armin Shimerman... Coroner Flutie
Alex Sol... Bartender
Guy Torry... Judson
Tyson Turrou... Pvt. Sanderson
Susan Ward... Holly
Kirk B.R. Woller... Major Bascom
Mark A. Altman... Doctor Altman (as Mark Altman)
Roxanne Arvizu... Corpse
Jackson Bolt... Reed
Ray Cannella... Jersey Zombie
Richard Dyer... Bouncer
Erin Howie... Liberty
Patrick Lee... Dying Zombie
Jill Montgomery... Lieutenant
Chuck Speed... Soldier
Mark Kriozere... Who Zombie
Robert Leos... Taxi Driver

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Greetings! Zombie Town

Greetings one and all Zombie Lovers!. This is my blog on Zombie movies past and present. 
The blog will run in a format that gives actors, synopsis, opinions and hopefully reader feedback. Each Movie may contain Spoilers. If this is the case I will let you know in advance. 





This weeks movie is entitled "Zombie Town" this is rated two stars on Netflix and 4.5 stars on IMDB, and is true C movie quality.It stars Adam Hose as Jake a less than efficent mechanic who has inhereted his father's auto shop. as with every C movie movie their has to be some significant other to be placed in peril to get the lazy ass redneck off his ass to accomplish something. Even if this is a non ordinary run of the mill zombie infestation. This love interest is played by Brynn Lucas. Not a bad looker but not a stunner either. the third main cast member is by far the worst actor of the film. this rasberry goes out to one Dennis Lemoine. You can view the trailer HERE

The film starts out with a bunch of poorly acted rednecks in the woods basically sitting around and talking about bed wetting experiences. It seems as if some unknown parasite has infested one of these high caliber individuals and he goes on a flesh chomping spree that starts the infection through a small town in Kansas. 

It appears that the only smart person in the movie is the redhead Alex. Not only does she take samples of swamp water and "three legged frogs". she obviously has the educational attainment to deal with a mutant slug that through the graces of modern science we learn can be killed by,,,hold on wait for it,,,,,SALT!

This movie is laughable as we see bingo playing grannies go wild with bloodlust. A sheriff that is infested as he sits on the most sacred of places(the shitter), and gore that could be put together by my 10 year old. The oneliners are ubiquitous so be prepared. The comedy is poor and the acting is even worse. we are however treated to one tit shot half way through. and these appear to be the real deal. after all what would a high scale zombie movie like this be without the obligitory sex scene?

Their are no spoilers for this movie as the whole movie is a spoiler.

If their are any movies that you would like or think I should view and do a review on, give me  hollar. I will do my best to please. for those of you who compare everything to Romero style zombies you will be sorely disappointed as this blog is not only about the past and present of Zombie Movies, but it is also about the good and the bad. 


This Movie gets 1 severed thumbs, And remember,
I watch this shit so you don't have to!
So until the next post, Cheers! 
And please do your part to support the zombie, he is a misunderstood creature that needs love sympathy and above all else ,,,,BRAINS!!!
Shane